At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
