Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
