One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
