The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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