Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
