i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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