Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize