I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
