porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The power of my boobs compel you
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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