this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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