At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
