The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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