you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
