I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
