In the future we'll all be gay
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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