in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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