I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
3pm strippers are depressing
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
