I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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