I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
