everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Bring me that man meat
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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