ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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