I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
