Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
