His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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