I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
