the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
