Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
