Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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