THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize