I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
