I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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