Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
