Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
