We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You were trust falling into bushes
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
