sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
