and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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