Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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