Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
