my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
