What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
