She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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