why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
