1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
