i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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