in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
