why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sext me about skeletons
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize