I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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