It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
