He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
