I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It's just like the Real World with babies
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Hippo gnu deer
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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