it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
