well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
