its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
