i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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