just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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