Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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