I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she smelled like a LAN party
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize